Sexual Attraction and Orientation


It's a natural part of life to have sexual feelings. As people pass
from childhood, through adolescence, to adulthood, their sexual feelings
develop and change.

Adolescence Is a Time of Change



During the teen years, sexual feelings are awakened in new ways
because of the hormonal and physical changes of puberty. These changes
involve both the body and the mind, and teens may wonder about new — and
often intense — sexual feelings.

It takes time for many people to understand who they are and who
they're becoming. Part of that understanding includes a person's sexual
feelings and attractions.

The term sexual orientation refers to the gender (that is, male or
female) to which a person is attracted. There are several types of
sexual orientation that are commonly described:

• Heterosexual. People who are heterosexual are
  romantically and physically attracted to members of the opposite sex:
  Heterosexual males are attracted to females, and heterosexual females
  are attracted to males. Heterosexuals are sometimes called "straight."
  
• Homosexual. People who are homosexual are
  romantically and physically attracted to people of the same sex: Females
  who are attracted to other females are lesbian; males who are attracted
  to other males are often known as gay. (The term gay is sometimes also
  used to describe homosexual individuals of either gender.)
  
• Bisexual. People who are bisexual are romantically and physically attracted to members of both sexes.
  

Teens — both guys and girls — often find themselves having sexual
thoughts and attractions. For some, these feelings and thoughts can be
intense — and even confusing or disturbing. That may be especially true
for people who are having romantic or sexual thoughts about someone who
is the same sex they are. "What does that mean," they might think. "Am I
gay?"

Thinking sexually about both the same sex and the opposite sex is
quite common as people sort through their emerging sexual feelings. This
type of imagining about people of the same or opposite sex doesn't
necessarily mean that a person fits into a particular type of sexual
orientation.

Some teens may also experiment with sexual experiences, including
those with members of the same sex, during the years they are exploring
their own sexuality. These experiences, by themselves, do not
necessarily mean that a person is gay or straight.Do People Choose Their Sexual Orientation?

Most medical professionals, including organizations such as the
American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Psychological
Association, believe that sexual orientation involves a complex mixture
of biology, psychology, and environmental factors. A person's genes and
inborn hormonal factors may play a role as well. These medical
professionals believe that — in most cases — sexual orientation,
whatever its causes, is not simply chosen.

Not everyone agrees. Some believe that individuals can choose who
they are attracted to — and that people who are gay have chosen to be
attracted to people of the same gender. No matter what someone's sexual
orientation is, in some cases it may be affected by the life experiences
that person has had.





There are lots of opinions and stereotypes about sexual orientation,
though, and some of these can be hurtful to people of all orientations.
For example, having a more "feminine" appearance or interest does not
mean that a guy is gay. And having a more "masculine" appearance doesn't
mean a girl is lesbian. As with most things, making assumptions just
based on looks can lead to the wrong conclusion.What's It Like for Gay Teens?



For many people who are gay or lesbian, it can feel like everyone is
expected to be straight. Because of this, some gay and lesbian teens may
feel different from their friends when the heterosexual people around
them start talking about romantic feelings, dating, and sex. They may
feel like they have to pretend to feel things that they don't in order
to fit. They might feel they need to deny who they are or that they have
to hide an important part of themselves.

These feelings, plus fears of prejudice, can lead people who aren't
straight to keep their sexual orientation secret, even from friends and
family who might be supportive.

Some gay or lesbian teens tell a few accepting, supportive friends
and family members about their sexual orientation. This is often called
coming out.

Many lesbian, gay, and bisexual teens who come out to their friends
and families are fully accepted by them and their communities. They feel
comfortable about being attracted to someone of the same gender and
don't feel anxious about it.

But not everyone has the same feelings or good support systems.
People who feel they need to hide who they are or who fear rejection,
discrimination, or violence can be at greater risk for emotional
problems like anxiety and depression.

Some gay teens without support systems can be at higher risk than
heterosexual teens for dropping out of school, living on the streets,
using alcohol and drugs, and even in some cases for attempting to harm
themselves.

These difficulties are thought to happen more frequently not directly
because they are gay, but because gay and lesbian people are more
likely to be misunderstood, socially isolated, or mistreated because of
their sexual orientation.

This doesn't happen to all gay teens, of course. Many gay and lesbian
teens and their families have no more difficulties during the teen
years than anyone else.The Importance of Talking



No matter what someone's sexual orientation is, learning about
sexuality and relationships can be difficult. It can help to talk to
someone about the confusing feelings that go with growing up, perhaps a
parent or other family member, a close friend or sibling, or a school
counselor. It's not always easy to find somebody to talk to, but many
people find that confiding in someone they trust and feel close to, even
if they're not completely sure how that person will react, turns out to
be a positive experience.





In many communities, resources such as youth groups composed of teens
who are facing similar issues can provide opportunities for people to
talk to others who understand. Psychologists, psychiatrists, family
doctors, and trained counselors can help teens cope — confidentially and
privately — with the difficult feelings that go with their developing
sexuality. These experts also can help teens find ways to deal with any
peer pressure, harassment, and bullying they may face.

Whether gay, straight, bisexual, or just not sure, almost all teens
have questions about physically maturing and about sexual health (for
example, avoiding STDs. It's important to find a doctor or health professional to discuss these issues with — someone who can provide reliable health advice.

Although sexual feelings and behavior are important parts of human
development, there are still many unanswered questions about human
sexuality. Researchers are constantly learning new information, and
undoubtedly people will know more about sexual orientation in the coming
years.