Nightmares

It's not clear at what age kids begin to dream, but even toddlers may
speak about having dreams — pleasant ones and scary ones. While almost
every child has an occasional frightening or upsetting dream, nightmares
seem to peak during the preschool years when fear of the dark is
common. But older kids (and even adults) have occasional nightmares,
too.

Nightmares aren't completely preventable, but parents can set the
stage for a peaceful night's rest. That way, when nightmares do creep
in, a little reassurance and comfort from you can quickly restore your
child's peace of mind.

Helping kids conquer this common childhood fear also equips them to overcome other scary things that might arise down the road.

When Do Nightmares Happen?



Nightmares — like most dreams — occur during the stage of sleep when
the brain is very active and sorting through experiences and new
information for learning and memory. The vivid images the brain is
processing can seem as real as the emotions they might trigger.

This part of sleep is known as the rapid eye movement or REM
stage because the eyes are rapidly moving beneath closed eyelids.
Nightmares tend to happen during the second half of a night's sleep,
when REM intervals are longer.

When kids awaken from a nightmare, its images are still fresh and can
seem real. So it's natural for them to feel afraid and upset and to
call out to a parent for comfort.

By about preschool age, kids begin to understand that a nightmare is
only a dream — and that what's happening isn't real and can't hurt them.
But knowing that doesn't prevent them from feeling scared. Even older
kids feel frightened when they awaken from a nightmare and may need your
reassurance and comfort.What Causes Nightmares?



No one knows exactly what causes nightmares. Dreams — and nightmares —
seem to be one way kids process thoughts and feelings about situations
they face, and to work through worries and concerns.

Most times nightmares occur for no apparent reason. Other times they
happen when a child is experiencing stress or change. Events or
situations that might feel unsettling — such as moving, attending a new
school, the birth of a sibling, or family tensions — might also be
reflected in unsettling dreams.

Sometimes nightmares occur as part of a child's reaction to trauma —
such as a natural disaster, accident, or injury. For some kids,
especially those with a good imagination, reading scary books or
watching scary movies or TV shows just before bedtime can inspire
nightmares.

Themes of a nightmare tend to reflect whatever the child is going
through at that age, whether it's struggles with aggressive feelings,
independence, or fears of separation. The cast of characters might
include monsters, bad guys, animals, imaginary creatures, or familiar
people, places, and events combined in unusual ways.

Young kids might have nightmares of being gobbled up, lost, chased,
or punished. Sometimes a nightmare contains recognizable bits and pieces
of the day's events and experiences, but with a scary twist. A child
might not remember every detail, but can usually recall some of the
images, characters, or situations, and the scary parts.

Encouraging Sweet Dreams



Parents can't prevent nightmares, but can help kids get a good night's sleep — and that encourages sweet dreams.

To help them relax when it's time to sleep and associate bedtime with safety and comfort, be sure that kids:

• have a regular bedtime and wake-up time
  
• have a sleep routine that helps them slow down, and feel safe and
  secure as they drift off to sleep. This might include a bath, a snuggle
  from you, reading, or some quiet talk about the pleasant events of the
  day.
  
• have a bed that's a cozy, peaceful place to quiet down. A favorite toy, stuffed animal, night-light, or dream catcher can help.
  
• avoid scary movies, TV shows, and stories before bed — especially if they've triggered nightmares before
  
• know that nightmares aren't real, that they're just dreams and can't hurt them
  
• After a Nightmare
  
  
  
  Here's how to help your child cope after a nightmare:
  
  Reassure your child that you’re there. Your calm
  presence helps your child feel safe and protected after waking up
  feeling afraid. Knowing you'll be there helps strengthen your child's
  sense of security.
  
  Label what’s happened. Let your child know that it
  was a nightmare and now it's over. You might say something like, "You
  had a bad dream, but now you're awake and everything is OK." Reassure
  your child that the scary stuff in the nightmare didn't happen in the
  real world.
  
  Offer comfort. Show that you understand that your
  child feels afraid and it's OK. Remind your child that everyone dreams
  and sometimes the dreams are scary, upsetting, and can seem very real,
  so it's natural to feel scared by them.
  
  Do your magic. With preschoolers and young
  school-age kids who have vivid imaginations, the magical powers of your
  love and protection can work wonders. You might be able to make the
  pretend monsters disappear with a dose of pretend monster spray. Go
  ahead and check the closet and under the bed, reassuring your child that
  all's clear.
  
  Mood lighting. A night-light or a hall light can
  help kids feel safe in a darkened room as they get ready to go back to
  sleep. A bedside flashlight can be a good nightmare-chaser.
  
  Help your child go back to sleep. Offering something
  comforting might help change the mood. Try any of these to aid the
  transition back to sleep: a favorite stuffed animal to hold, a blanket,
  pillow, night-light, dream catcher, or soft music. Or discuss some
  pleasant dreams your child would like to have. And maybe seal it by
  giving your child a kiss to hold — in the palm of his or her hand — as
  you tiptoe out of the room.
  
  Be a good listener. No need to talk more than
  briefly about the nightmare in the wee hours — just help your child feel
  calm, safe, and protected, and ready to go back to sleep. But in the
  morning, your child may want to tell you all about last night's scary
  dream. By talking about it — maybe even drawing the dream or writing
  about it — in the daylight, many scary images lose their power. Your
  child might enjoy thinking up a new (more satisfying) ending to the
  scary dream.
  
  For most kids, nightmares happen only now and then, are not cause for
  concern, and simply require a parent's comfort and reassurance. Talk to
  your doctor if nightmares often prevent your child from getting enough
  sleep or if they occur along with other emotional or behavioral
  troubles.