Social Phobia



It's natural to feel self-conscious, nervous, or shy in front of
others at times. Anyone can have a racing heart, sweaty palms, or
fluttering stomach when trying out for chorus, asking someone on a first
date, or giving a class presentation.

Most people manage to get through these moments when they need to.
But for some, the anxiety that goes with feeling shy or self-conscious
can be extreme. It can seem so unbearable that they might feel too
nervous to give answers in class, be unable to make eye contact with
classmates in the hallway, or avoid chatting with others at the lunch
table.

When people feel so self-conscious and anxious that it prevents them
from speaking up or socializing most of the time, it's probably more
than shyness. It may be an anxiety condition called social phobia.

What Is Social Phobia?



Social phobia (also sometimes called social anxiety)
is a type of anxiety problem. Extreme feelings of shyness and
self-consciousness build into a powerful fear. As a result, a person
feels uncomfortable participating in everyday social situations.

People with social phobia can usually interact easily with family and
a few close friends. But meeting new people, talking in a group, or
speaking in public can cause their extreme shyness to kick in.

With social phobia, a person's extreme shyness, self-consciousness,
and fears of embarrassment get in the way of life. Instead of enjoying
social activities, people with social phobia might dread them — and
avoid some of them altogether.The Fear Reaction



Like other phobias, social phobia is a fear reaction to something
that isn't actually dangerous — although the body and mind react as if
the danger is real. This means that someone feels physical sensations of
fear, like a faster heartbeat and breathing. These are part of the
body's fight-flight response. They're caused by a rush of adrenaline and other chemicals that prepare the body to either fight or make a quick getaway.

This biological mechanism kicks in when we feel afraid. It's a
built-in nervous system response that alerts us to danger so we can
protect ourselves. With social phobia, this response gets activated too
frequently, too strongly, and in situations where it's out of place.
Because the physical sensations that go with the response are real — and
sometimes quite strong — the danger seems real, too. So the person will
react by freezing up, and will feel unable to interact.



As the body experiences these physical sensations, the mind goes through emotions like feeling afraid or nervous.

People with social phobia tend to interpret these sensations and
emotions in a way that leads them to avoid the situation ("Uh-oh, my
heart's pounding, this must be dangerous — I'd better not do it!").
Someone else might interpret the same physical sensations of nervousness
a different way ("OK, that's just my heart beating fast. It's me
getting nervous because it's almost my turn to speak. It happens every
time. No big deal.").What Are People With Social Phobia Afraid Of?



With social phobia, a person's fears and concerns are focused on
their social performance — whether it's a major class presentation or
small talk at the lockers.

People with social phobia tend to feel self-conscious and
uncomfortable about being noticed or judged by others. They're more
sensitive to fears that they'll be embarrassed, look foolish, make a
mistake, or be criticized or laughed at. No one wants to experience
these things. But most people don't really spend much time worrying
about it.

How Social Phobia Can Affect Someone's Life



With social phobia, thoughts and fears about what others think get
exaggerated in someone's mind. The person starts to focus on the
embarrassing things that could happen, instead of the good things. This
makes a situation seem much worse than it is, and influences a person to
avoid it.



Some of the ways social phobia can affect someone's life include:

• Feeling lonely or disappointed over missed opportunities for friendship and fun.
  Social phobia might prevent someone from chatting with friends in the
  lunchroom, joining an after-school club, going to a party, or asking
  someone on a date.
  
• Not getting the most out of school. Social phobia
  might keep a person from volunteering an answer in class, reading aloud,
  or giving a presentation. Someone with social phobia might feel too
  nervous to ask a question in class or go to a teacher for help.
  
• Missing a chance to share their talents and learn new skills.
  Social phobia might prevent someone from auditioning for the school
  play, being in the talent show, trying out for a team, or joining in a
  service project. Social phobia not only prevents people from trying new
  things. It also prevents them from making the normal, everyday mistakes
  that help people improve their skills still further.
  

BackContinue
Selective Mutism



Some kids and teens are so extremely shy and so fearful about talking
to others, that they don't speak at all to certain people (such as a
teacher or students they don't know) or in certain places (like at
someone else's house). This form of social phobia is sometimes called selective mutism.

People with selective mutism can talk. They have completely normal
conversations with the people they're comfortable with or in certain
places. But other situations cause them such extreme anxiety that they
may not be able to bring themselves to talk at all.

Some people might mistake their silence for a stuck-up attitude or
rudeness. But with selective mutism and social phobia, silence stems
from feeling uncomfortable and afraid, not from being uncooperative,
disrespectful, or rude.

Why Do Some People Develop Social Phobia?



Kids, teens, and adults can have social phobia. Most of the time, it
starts when a person is young. Like other anxiety-based problems, social
phobia develops because of a combination of three factors:

• A person's biological makeup. Social phobia could
  be partly due to the genes and temperament a person inherits. Inherited
  genetic traits from parents and other relatives can influence how the
  brain senses and regulates anxiety, shyness, nervousness, and stress
  reactions. Likewise, some people are born with a shy temperament and
  tend to be cautious and sensitive in new situations and prefer what's
  familiar. Most people who develop social phobia have always had a shy
  temperament.
  
  Not everyone with a shy temperament develops social phobia (in fact,
  most don't). It's the same with genes. But people who inherit these
  traits do have an increased chance of developing social phobia.
  
• 
  Behaviors learned from role models (especially parents).
  A person's naturally shy temperament can be influenced by what he or
  she learns from role models. If parents or others react by
  overprotecting a child who is shy, the child won't have a chance to get
  used to new situations and new people. Over time, shyness can build into
  social phobia.
  
  Shy parents might also unintentionally set an example by avoiding
  certain social interactions. A shy child who watches this learns that
  socializing is uncomfortable, distressing, and something to avoid.
  
• Life events and experiences. If people born with a
  cautious nature have stressful experiences, it can make them even more
  cautious and shy. Feeing pressured to interact in ways they don't feel
  ready for, being criticized or humiliated, or having other fears and
  worries can make it more likely for a shy or fearful person to develop
  social anxiety.
  
  People who constantly receive critical or disapproving reactions may
  grow to expect that others will judge them negatively. Being teased or
  bullied will make people who are already shy likely to retreat into
  their shells even more. They'll be scared of making a mistake or
  disappointing someone, and will be more sensitive to criticism.
  

The good news is that the effect of these negative experiences can be
turned around with some focused slow-but-steady effort. Fear can be
learned. And it can also be unlearned, too.Dealing With Social Phobia



People with social phobia can learn to manage fear, develop
confidence and coping skills, and stop avoiding things that make them
anxious. But it's not always easy. Overcoming social phobia means
getting up the courage it takes to go beyond what's comfortable, little
by little.

Here's who can support and guide people in overcoming social phobia:

• Therapists can help people recognize the physical
  sensations caused by fight-flight and teach them to interpret these
  sensations more accurately. Therapists can help people create a plan for
  facing social fears one by one, and help them build the skills and
  confidence to do it. This includes practicing new behaviors. Sometimes,
  but not always, medications that reduce anxiety are used as part of the
  treatment for social phobia.
  
• Family or friends are especially important for
  people who are dealing with social phobia. The right support from a few
  key people can help those with social phobia gather the courage to go
  outside their comfort zone and try something new.
  
  Putdowns, lectures, criticisms, and demands to change don't help — and
  just make a person feel bad. Having social phobia isn't a person's fault
  and isn't something anyone chooses. Instead, friends and family can
  encourage people with social phobia to pick a small goal to aim for,
  remind them to go for it, and be there when they might feel discouraged.
  Good friends and family are there to celebrate each small success along
  the way.
  

Overcoming Social Phobia





Dealing with social phobia takes patience, courage to face fears and
try new things, and the willingness to practice. It takes a commitment
to go forward rather than back away when feeling shy.

Little by little, someone who decides to deal with extreme shyness
can learn to be more comfortable. Each small step forward helps build
enough confidence to take the next small step. As shyness and fears
begin to melt, confidence and positive feelings build. Pretty soon, the
person is thinking less about what might feel uncomfortable and more
about what might be fun.

Reviewed by: D'Arcy Lyness, PhD
Date reviewed: August 2010